Embracing Our True Selves - A Journey Beyond Expectations
I would like to dive into a topic that's close to my heart and share a journey that might resonate with you. It's about the path of shedding the layers of expectations to reveal and become our true selves - a path that is unfortunately often painful. I went on this exploration when I wrote the First Edition of my book Becoming Paradoxia. Although it’s a fictional story, I did an inventory of my own experiences, feelings, my choices and what motivated them which inspired the story in the book. I wrote a poem titled "Let Me Bee Free," which I've shared in a reading on my latest video. I invite you to watch it as a prelude to my reflection here.
In "Let Me Bee Free," I describe wearing a "mask not of silk or velvet, but woven from expectations, tightly stitched by hands not my own." This imagery came to me naturally when I remembered the weight of external demands and norms that shaped much of my life. Haven't you also felt that at some point, being paved over, your natural, wild landscapes forced into order not of your choosing?
Who Am I Beneath These Layers?
This is a question I often ask myself, and perhaps it echoes in your mind too. Where do the judgments of others end and our true selves begin? In our journey towards inner liberation, this question becomes a guiding light. I bring this inquiry as I paint, open to receive answers, inspiration, and the courage to see the ways I am still chained. As we peel back each layer, we uncover parts of ourselves that were silenced or forgotten. It's not an easy journey. It requires us to confront discomfort and sometimes, the alienation that comes with choosing authenticity over approval.
The Anger of Being Misunderstood
Anger is a theme in the poem like it has been in my life, although hidden and unconscious for many years. This last summer, I became a lot more conscious of it and acknowledged that ways it affected my decisions and my health. In the poem, I describe it as "a molten core within, burned by dismissals." It's an emotion that many of us are taught to suppress, especially women. We're told that anger is unbecoming, that it should be smoothed over and replaced with a smile which I did for a long time. Growing up in an environment where you do not have a voice, I learned to shut up, and smile to buy peace. But in our silence, we smother the very fires that fuel change and personal evolution. How have you experienced this in your own life? Have you ever felt dismissed or urged to quiet your voice?
Breaking Free From The Dance of Conformity
The poem speaks of being tired of dancing to tunes "that strangle my authenticity." It's a powerful metaphor for the social dances we perform, those routines and roles we step into without questioning if they serve our true purpose or happiness. Breaking free from these patterns isn't about shunning responsibility but about defining on our terms what it means to live responsibly and authentically.
The Path of Self-Discovery
Finding our rhythm, the pulse beneath our feet that leads to the self we can claim as ours alone, is perhaps the most exhilarating part of this journey. It means no longer reflecting what makes others comfortable but stepping through the shattered glass of constraints to breathe our own air.
Invitation to Reflection
I invite you to ponder these questions:
What expectations have you internalized from your environment?
How do they shape your actions and self-perception?
What would your life look like if you decided to live by your inner rhythm?
This journey of self-discovery is not just about personal liberation, it’s a radical act of healing. By embracing our whole selves, including our anger and our joy, we challenge the very structures that confine us. So, let’s dare to dream, to scream not in anguish but in liberation, and to exist on our own terms.
Thank you for witnessing and for joining me on this journey. If this resonates with you, if you feel the stirrings of your own spirit seeking freedom, know that you are not alone. We are together in this journey of unfolding, and your voice, your story, is a crucial part of this tapestry we are weaving.
Be free to be truly and wildly yourself.